one show was not enough...

THE wild bee reels from bough to bough   
  With his furry coat and his gauzy wing.   
Now in a lily-cup, and now   
  Setting a jacinth bell a-swing,   
          In his wandering;           5
Sit closer love: it was here I trow   
          I made that vow,   
  
Swore that two lives should be like one   
  As long as the sea-gull loved the sea,   
As long as the sunflower sought the sun,—    10
  It shall be, I said, for eternity   
          ’Twixt you and me!   
Dear friend, those times are over and done,   
          Love’s web is spun.   
  
Look upward where the poplar trees    15
  Sway and sway in the summer air,   
Here in the valley never a breeze   
  Scatters the thistledown, but there   
          Great winds blow fair   
From the mighty murmuring mystical seas,    20
          And the wave-lashed leas.   
  
Look upward where the white gull screams,   
  What does it see that we do not see?   
Is that a star? or the lamp that gleams   
  On some outward voyaging argosy,—    25
          Ah! can it be   
We have lived our lives in a land of dreams!   
          How sad it seems.   
  
Sweet, there is nothing left to say   
  But this, that love is never lost,    30
Keen winter stabs the breasts of May   
  Whose crimson roses burst his frost,   
          Ships tempest-tossed   
Will find a harbour in some bay,   
          And so we may.    35
  
And there is nothing left to do   
  But to kiss once again, and part,   
Nay, there is nothing we should rue,   
  I have my beauty,—you your Art,   
          Nay, do not start,    40
One world was not enough for two   
          Like me and you.   

"Her Voice" by Oscar Wilde (1854–1900)

Hello Bevin

Wise men say only fools rush in, ...

but:

Only fools know true love.

I watched, as millions of others did, you and Andy fall in love on the world stage. Now the grief of loss is yours and yours alone.

But you are not alone. For anybody who has loved, and loved truly, loss has been a close companion. It is only by the sheer beauty and ecstasy of one that the sheer misery of the other is felt.

First, there is thanks to be given and gratitude for both you and Andy (indeed the others, as well as ABC!) for participating in such a public manner on a journey of risk and discovery. A few found love. And the love that sprouted between you two and flourished in the last episode was felt and recognized by anyone who has felt love before.

Your burden is the toughest, for not only the splendor of your love shined and electrified our living rooms, but you were the odd woman out, weren’t you. Whatever becomes of Andy and Tessa, know that you exhibited and experienced a powerful love, and that experience can never be taken away.

Perhaps he was the man of your dreams, your soul-mate, the “one” for you, and he slipped away. Perhaps after six months, or six years, things would be different. Perhaps this. Perhaps that. The one thing that is certain is what you had. And I bear witness, as anyone who watched can, that what you had, for that fleeting moment, was l-o-v-e. And is true love not truly ever fleeting?

I did not see that love in any other relationship, including with Tessa. Andy’s final choice, I think, had more to do with his own insecurities than to any fault of yours, or any real advantages of Tessa. She was, simply, more codependent on him, in his estimation. He followed his brain, not his heart. And there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it, except to accept it gracefully and hope that love will find you again.

You mentioned being unlucky in love. Don’t doubt yourself. Didn’t you in fact find love! What you didn’t find was love and a husband all in the same show. No one said the two always go together, and on prime time!

You’ve been married before and now you’ve experienced falling in love. Now it’s up to you to find the happy medium. Don’t give up.

Thank you again for allowing me and so many others to witness two people falling in love. Loving is like putting all of one's eggs in one basket. But true love demands nothing less than a full basket of eggs. Had you done anything less, you would not have experienced true love (and all its simultaneous misery!).

Good luck and god bless.

prelude 3 - continuation

The solid impression left on my heart by “his” presence and “his” subsequent departure, eventually lost its strong outlines over time. 5 years and one love affair later, although I don’t remember the exact moments in time spent with “him”, the impression “he” left on my heart is still indelible. I learned to love again, and to love in continuation of the love I had for “him”—for I learned the most important lessons in life: that love is boundless and never-ending—that you can love more than one beloved—that love isn’t halted and re-kindled, but that it perpetually resides in your heart and it’s incessantly strengthened as you continue to love.

from a letter from a friend

prelude 2 - being

... For the first time ever, I understood the meaning of learning. Learning from my mistakes, And forgiving. Forgiving myself for failing, And others for disappointing me. Then I learned to keep loving the ones who didn’t know how to love me. I learned not to give up on myself, or my desires, Of wholeness, fulfillment, And all things pure. Today, for the first time, I understood that loss is intertwined with “being” And that “being” is made up of sorrow And joy.

from Today by Kimia

prelude 1 - sorrow unmasked

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is only giving you joy. When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Joy and sorrow are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

About

This is a publicly personal letter to Bevin Nicole Powers who was first "runner-up" in ABC's hit show The Bachelor, 2007.