Hello Bevin

Wise men say only fools rush in, ...

but:

Only fools know true love.

I watched, as millions of others did, you and Andy fall in love on the world stage. Now the grief of loss is yours and yours alone.

But you are not alone. For anybody who has loved, and loved truly, loss has been a close companion. It is only by the sheer beauty and ecstasy of one that the sheer misery of the other is felt.

First, there is thanks to be given and gratitude for both you and Andy (indeed the others, as well as ABC!) for participating in such a public manner on a journey of risk and discovery. A few found love. And the love that sprouted between you two and flourished in the last episode was felt and recognized by anyone who has felt love before.

Your burden is the toughest, for not only the splendor of your love shined and electrified our living rooms, but you were the odd woman out, weren’t you. Whatever becomes of Andy and Tessa, know that you exhibited and experienced a powerful love, and that experience can never be taken away.

Perhaps he was the man of your dreams, your soul-mate, the “one” for you, and he slipped away. Perhaps after six months, or six years, things would be different. Perhaps this. Perhaps that. The one thing that is certain is what you had. And I bear witness, as anyone who watched can, that what you had, for that fleeting moment, was l-o-v-e. And is true love not truly ever fleeting?

I did not see that love in any other relationship, including with Tessa. Andy’s final choice, I think, had more to do with his own insecurities than to any fault of yours, or any real advantages of Tessa. She was, simply, more codependent on him, in his estimation. He followed his brain, not his heart. And there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it, except to accept it gracefully and hope that love will find you again.

You mentioned being unlucky in love. Don’t doubt yourself. Didn’t you in fact find love! What you didn’t find was love and a husband all in the same show. No one said the two always go together, and on prime time!

You’ve been married before and now you’ve experienced falling in love. Now it’s up to you to find the happy medium. Don’t give up.

Thank you again for allowing me and so many others to witness two people falling in love. Loving is like putting all of one's eggs in one basket. But true love demands nothing less than a full basket of eggs. Had you done anything less, you would not have experienced true love (and all its simultaneous misery!).

Good luck and god bless.